We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
