Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
