I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I had to cum in my sink.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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