$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
