yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
