Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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