You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
