Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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