When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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