i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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