Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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