ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
is wine microwaveable?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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