you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
