We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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