Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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