Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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