Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
this hospital has no fireball
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
