i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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