i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
