Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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