what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
