So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
