Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
