I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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