Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
