We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
