They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
