Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
