i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
