508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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