I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
we're so committed to being not committed
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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