dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
