thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She bit a glass in half.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
