Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
