Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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