He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
