Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am full of burrito and curiosity
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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