I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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