How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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