I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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