If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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