I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
