is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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