You're so nebulous sometimes
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
