He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
