now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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