so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
