4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
