I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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