so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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