I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
