i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have feelings that need drinking.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
