At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
