I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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