oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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