Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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