Your face is a jimmy john
I feel great
I just peed on a car
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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