me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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