Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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