If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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